ChaoSpirals

Remedios Varo

2008-07-16T09:49:00.003+09:00

Wow.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Remedios_Varo

Reflejo Lunar

(images from http://www.spamula.net/ via Wikipedia)

part 2 of a triptych (see also April 25)

2008-07-03T07:46:00.000+09:00

barely stirring
coffee with (no)
cream spilling
in the saucer
on the table splashes
all around

a mess (spilt) everywhere

but (not) one
drop mixing
staining penetrating
the slow percolation
(seeming) always
unfinished

I (never) taste a sip

Vocabulary - AGAIN

2008-07-03T07:37:00.003+09:00

OK, I've seen this done wrong AT LEAST twice this week, so to set things straight:

"peek" is to look at, perhaps sneakily
"peak" is to reach a high point, then stop and return to a lower level. A peak is also the top of a mountain.

The word people keep spelling wrong is "pique." Specifically in this case:

"I saw something that piqued my interest." That's how you spell it, FYI.

Pique can also have a negative emotion-related meaning. As in, "I was piqued over the misspelling of the word 'pique' in the above example."

Industrial Top 10

2008-06-13T22:01:00.002+09:00

http://www.regenmag.com/Blog-26-Top-10-Industrial-Albums-of-All-Time.html

Actually, my list would probably be similar, but I'm pretty ignorant of stuff past about 1995, really. I'd probably have put something other than Closer on the list from NIN, but I think that's just my own myopic perspective. Too Dark at #2 was a surprise, but hell yes. 242 at the top was really nice to see. I was shocked by ChemLab, actually, but I saw them live open for White Zombie and Pantera, and, well, it was TOTALLY the weakest set that night, so it colored things for me. They also seemed a little more artsy and alt.rock-ish to me, rather than heavy and throbbing. Also, I have no clue about the Neubauten record, but I wanna check it out.

I saw VNV Nation and there are some great tunes on that record. And Haujobb even opened for them on that tour, and they played a hell of a show, but I'm ignorant about that album. More to explore...

with apologies to Bill Watterson, H.P. Lovecraft, and William Butler Yeats

2008-06-03T10:12:00.002+09:00

For Melina

Somewhere in America, it is bedtime.

The towheaded child, blankets to his chin, grins malevolently. A fierce struggle has culminated in victory. He has �gotten his way.�

A man in his mid-thirties, brow crinkled all the way up to his receding hairline, perches on the edge of the bed. Tonight, as every night, his son has whined, wheedled, blackmailed and tantrumed, all in the name of familiarity and ritual. But tonight, things will be different. Tonight, the father will have his vengeance upon the son. Tonight will end the pattern. This is a quest in the name of all fathers, avenging Lot�s honor, smiting ingrates like Oedipus and Cain.

The man turns the page and reads aloud the title that fills him with revulsion:

Hamster Huey and the Gooey Kablooie

�Hamster Huey!� No sooner are the words out than a form, small and furry, troubles our sight! A gaze, red and pitiless, burns through us, and we know that we are in the presence of something from beyond our mortal realm. This is no ordinary hamster. This is a demi-hamster, a rodent-god, the uber-pet. Who is this tiny avenger? What guides his mighty paw? He is an avatar of spiritus mundi, the champion of Gaea, the devourer of corruption.

Ahem.

The town was beseiged. Day and night, over the past several months, the dark lord Globulus had levied tax upon tax on the people. Soon the stores of grain and the city coffers were empty. When the people refused to pay, or could no longer meet his demands, the fiend sent his minions, the Slymuloids, to collect other forms of payment: pets like cats and dogs, even hamsters, and tigers; children out after dark; virginal teenaged daughters. The Slymuloids were misshapen things from the bowels of Globulus�s tower of darkness, amoeba-like and running with sticky mucous, caustic to the touch.

The repulsive Slymuloids oozed through town, sucking in any unwary unfortunate in their path, leaving behind only the headless bodies of their victims. Brains were all they sought. The gelatinous masses then bubbled and roiled their way back to Globulus�s obsidian spire.

Meanwhile, somewhere in middle America, a young boy clutches a stuffed tiger, trembling.

The townsfolk knew something had to be done. They gathered what remained of their herds and grain, and what little silver and copper they could scrape together, and sought the advice of the town sage, an old man who lived in a clearing in the forest, and who dealt in matters from beyond the living world. The sage told them that their answer would present itself if they would only go to the mouth of the cave at the base of the mountain that overlooked the once-peaceful valley in which they lived. He advised them to construct a massive axle, mounted on a frame. They were then to saw the top from a round silo, and mount the walled circular section on the frame so that it might spin around aforementioned axle. When this monstrous rodent wheel was in place, the sage told them they should make a bed of cedar shavings and go home. Salvation would arrive within three days.

The townsfolk did as instructed. In three days time, a bolt of lightning struck the wheel, and the cavern at the base of the mountain belched forth a white and green light. From this aura strode earth�s defender�

Hamster Huey.

Huey marched straight to Globulus�s tower stronghold. As he pressed forward, Slymuloids melted beneath his gaze. His talons and incisors made short work of the armored guards at the gates. Knowing full well that Globulus would fortify himself in the highest chambers of the tower, Huey instead headed for the lab locked beneath the dungeon. He passed through the stone innards of the tower, to another lower level, where a necropolis of ancient days stood. Evil had long worked its way into the world at this spot.

Here, he found the horrible array of pipes, tubes, and boilers wherein the Slymuloids were birthed. Even as I write this, I know that the flopping, gibbering servants of the outer darkness chitter and laugh at my feeble attempt to render in prose their unholy, extra-terrestrial origins. In that pit of terror, the noble harbinger of coagulation and foe of viscosity triumphed, though it brought his own doom!

After turning all the dials up, to their maximum and plugging the spouts from which the foul servants of Globulus flowed forth, Huey rushed to the stairs and began his attack on the dark lord�s final haven. As the boilers overheated and pressure built, Huey threw himself against the heavy oak door, cursing the fiend on the other side. This was what he�d been made for, this is the task for which he�d been summoned.

But Huey�s time had run out. On the other side of the door, Lord Globulous was summoning the largest, most vile Slymuloid ever conjured from the filth and decay at his command. As our hero, Huey, hammered his hamster hands against the hardwood, finally hewing a hole through which he hopped, the huge hellspawn surged forth and attacked. As Huey and the creature locked in fearsome final battle, the boiler in the lab exploded, and Lord Globulus�s spire erupted in a shower of green goo.

KABLOOIE!

Somewhere, in the dark, a boy speaks with his tiger.

�Gee, it sure didn�t end the same THAT time.�
�Yeah. I wonder if the villagers ever found his head?�

Video = Not Always Necessary

2008-05-28T14:33:00.002+09:00

The Web is not TV. And one of the biggest problems I ran into when I was working in academia is dealing with scholars and theorists and professors who started in TV and thought "convergence" (esp. "media convergence") meant, basically, putting audio and video (radio and TV) on the Internet.

No.

No, no, no. Sure, it's cool to be able to watch old video and weird stuff on YouTube, etc. And the pipes are finally big enough that it's practical in most cases. But I don't want all my info on the Web to look like posh TV with stripped down details. I'd much rather read articles, for example, AT WORK, rather than watch a video using my headphones, especially if I just want the info and don't care about the production quality. Also if there are other people around and I MUST use the headphones. I'm sure I'm not alone. If it's a music performance, a play, a visual production of some sort that warrants visuals, fine. But in the meantime, text works great. Or... how about a transcript or something? But don't tie ME to load times, headphones, and the appearance of being unproductive and wasting time, esp. when I'm actually researching something useful for my job. And why is this INTERVIEW with some business leader in VIDEO on a website run by a NEWSPAPER!?!

Bleah.

Coffee and Cream

2008-04-25T00:18:00.001+09:00

Reticence can feel
Like a bitter bite
With a scent of mystery

While the milky splash
Can sting at first taste
Before richness satisfies

As the two entwine
Marbling the mug
White and brown alternating

I'm reminded of
Tangled hotel sheets
And your skin against my own

(first draft)

Californication

2008-04-09T14:22:00.001+09:00

Ok, so let's just be upfront about this: I like women. A lot. It's a known thing, if you talk to my friends and even women I've dated. I've learned, especially during my time in academia, enough to feel comfortable in my own circle, in my own right, to say that I am a feminist. I would probably temper that for certain audiences (who would be hostile to the very notion that a man could be a feminist) and say that I am sympathetic to and supportive of feminist ideologies in general. But still and all, I have a profound appreciation for women in an aesthetic sense, romantic sense, and carnal sense. For sure.

And this leads me to Californication, the Showtime original series starring David Duchovny. Wow. Overwhelmingly funny, poignant, and interesting. Nice commentaries. Shoots from the hip well.

Also... Madeline Zima. Holy smoke. She may just have leaped above Jena Malone in the formerly-jailbait- but-talented- and-sure-to- break-hearts standings. Damn. My god. And thank god she's NOT 16 like she plays on the show, but was 20 or 21 during filming and is 22 now. From the youngest daughter on The Nanny to THIS? Holy Frijoles. God. Damn.

Movies

2008-04-07T10:37:00.002+09:00

by Alien Ant Farm

At slow speed we all seem focused
In motion we seem wrong
In summer we can taste the rain

I want you to be free
Don�t worry about me
And just like the movies
We play out our last scene

Two can play this game
We both want power
In winter we can taste the pain

In our short years, we come long way
To treat it bad and throw away

I want you to be free
Don�t worry about me
And just like the movies
We play out our last scene

You won�t cry, I won�t scream

In our short years we come long way
To treat it bad and throw away
And if we make a little space
A science fiction showcase
In our short film, a love disgrace
Dream a scene to brighten face
In our short years we come long way
To treat it bad, just to throw it away

I want you to be free
Don�t worry about me
And just like the movies
We play out our last scene

You won�t cry, I won�t scream

(one fascinating thing about this song is the way that my mind fills in the gaps in the pidgin-like grammar)

Quotes

2008-04-04T15:40:00.002+09:00

The answers to my list of quotes. Novel figured out number 7. Julie must have known most of the rest.

1. Sylvester Stallone in Death Race 2000

2. Pee Wee's Big Adventure

3. Egg Chen and Jack Burton, Big Trouble in Little China

4. Han Solo to Luke Skywalker in Star Wars

5. Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure

6. The Usual Suspects

7. Jules in Pulp Fiction

8. Blue Velvet

9. Brad Pitt in perhaps his greatest role, the stoner roommate in True Romance

10. Unforgiven

Lexical Forebears

2008-04-04T15:26:00.002+09:00

I realized recently that there's one person in particular who has been a really huge influence on my vocabulary and mode of speech.

Bill Cosby.

That may sound asinine, and it may, also, BE asinine on some level, but it's actually true. I say "Hey Gang" when I meet a group of friends, I refer to money as "dough" all the time. There are tons of other examples, I'm sure, but those most readily leap to mind. I listened to Bill Cosby's records over and over as a kid. My brother Sean and I would be doing stuff and I'd be playing Bill Cosby in my room, and we'd just start laughing and laughing until we couldn't breathe. We'd even hear one word, later, that reminded us of Cosby routines and start laughing and get yelled at during dinner.

That guy has really been a huge influence in my life.

I saw him perform live at Northern Illinois University with Sean about 4 years ago. It's one of my favorite memories... I just wish it could have lasted longer...

Film Quote Meme

2008-03-28T15:16:00.003+09:00

So I'm slow, but Novel tagged me for this, and so...

1. You know, Myra, some people might think you're cute. But me? I think you're one very large baked potato.

2. It's like a giant cable-knit sweater that someone keeps knitting... and knitting... and knitting... and knitting.

3. "What's that?" - "Black blood of the earth." - "You mean oil?" - "I mean black blood of the earth!"

4. This ain't like dusting crops, boy.

5. Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.

6. The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he did not exist.

7. I'm a mushroom cloud-laying motherfucker, motherfucker.

8. If there's one think I can't stand, it's warm fucking beer. Makes me want to fucking puke!

9. Don't condenscend (sic) me, man. I'll fuckin' kill ya.

10. Hell, I even thought I was dead 'til I found out it was just that I was in Nebraska.

(With apologies to those in the know from 150 Darrow Hall.)

2008-03-18T22:29:00.001+09:00

"You're Beautiful"
by James Blunt, Sasha Skarbek and Amanda Ghost

My life is brilliant.

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Flying high
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

Yes. I know exactly how that feels.

Cooking TOOLS

2008-03-13T13:28:00.000+09:00

Online resources from Epicurious.com

Bottled water

2008-03-07T12:53:00.001+09:00

Astounding

2008-03-05T15:35:00.002+09:00

Check out the maps for Clinton and Obama in Texas and Ohio. Obama wins the large population centers/urban areas every time. In Texas, it's Dallas, Austin, and Houston. In Ohio, it's Cleveland, Columbus, and that unnamed bit is Dayton.

Sobering. Very. Also appears to be a race/class disparity, along with the well-documented age disparity (young people like Obama, Dems over 60 like Hillary).

I'm amazed it polarized this dramatically. Fascinating.

From Sandman

2008-03-04T12:54:00.003+09:00

John

2008-02-21T09:57:00.000+09:00

His words

Tributes from his friends

The Last Victim

2008-02-19T09:10:00.002+09:00

This is the rough bit. But the killer was a victim, too -- of himself, of an affliction, of our culture. We'll surely never know why. But it's obvious, to me anyway, that he was troubled, and maybe agonized, maybe crazy, maybe driven that way... We're all responsible. These are our children, our sons and daughters, who do these things.

Steven Kazmierczak, rest in peace

Thank You

2008-02-18T13:51:00.002+09:00

I just became a Chicago Blackhawks fan.

Northern Illinois University

2008-02-18T10:29:00.003+09:00

I entered NIU in June 1999 as a graduate student in English Literature. I finished an MA in 2001, and then worked as an instructor for a year before being hired as Support Professional Staff in 2002. I finished a second MA in 2004 and worked at the University managing computer labs and teaching classes for the Department of Communication until June 2006. My office was in the basement of Cole Hall.

Last week, on Thursday (in America), a man dressed in black entered a Geology class in Cole Hall and opened fire with a shotgun and 2 or 3 other weapons. He shot 22 people, killing 6 (including himself).

I went to bed with the news about my friend John. I woke up to the news of the shooting. Friday (in Japan) was a very bleak day. The high point, for me, was the farewell party/ talent show for the 3rd year students at the school where I teach (though even that was bittersweet as it was one of the last times I'll see most of those kids).

http://us.cnn.com/2008/US/02/14/university.shooting/index.html

Here's a piece of something I wrote to my fellow English teachers here in Nara, Japan:

The shooting happened in the building where my office was. It's in a classroom where I was a TA (during the 9/11 attacks, no less). I've called or emailed or Facebooked a bunch of friends and colleagues, and I don't think I know any of the victims. But 2 years ago, I was in that building, and I might have been buying a drink in the vending machine right outside the doors. I used to spend long nights there, working late. It never felt unsafe.

Call your families soon, if you haven't. If you have college friends or old pals you haven't talked to in some time, do it, no matter the emotional stings and the weirdness. Just say hi. Just let people know you give a damn about them, and you miss them, and you appreciate them. Don't put off any longer the little efforts that keep us close to those who are far away. Sometimes you lose that chance if you don't take the time and make the effort.

And as you teach, try to be nice to the nerdy kid. The dorky kid in the corner. The out kid that everyone craps on or ignores. And if they aren't nice back, or don't respond, let it be ok. Smile anyway. It's taken years, maybe, to get them to the place they are now. One day, one moment, one gesture isn't going to fix or change all that. But even a smile might be remembered later, and appreciated. And it might be something that helps keep this sort of thing from happening here, among our students. Who knows why this happens? But just increasing the niceness and goodness in the world can't hurt.

John

2008-02-18T10:19:00.003+09:00

Last week, as I got home from Osaka, I got email from J. telling me that John was gone.

Sobering.

I met John frosh year at BGSU. He lived in the dorm, upstairs on the 3rd floor. He was one of the Honors Dorm dorks we all were at the time. He was tall and thin, glasses, unbelievably wavy hair, and a grin that never stopped. Very preppy dresser, and a comic book freak. He became friends with my friends, and with me vicariously. He dated my friend. Together they worked out that he was gay and that was a good, great thing. He was the housemate of another friend. He found someone he loved. He had a family. He helped Katrina victims. He was good people. He was fun. His grin was infectious and he crossed culture, gender, clique boundaries quickly and easily and gladly, but as far as I knew him, he never compromised who he was and how he wanted to be.

I hadn't talked to him in a long time. The last time I saw him was at J.'s wedding, where we danced together and he picked me up. It was ludicrous and perfect. Last Tuesday, he died.

Rest well, John. Rest well.

Rollercoaster

2008-02-18T10:17:00.002+09:00

Last week was pretty cool at the beginning and just awful at the end. The beginning of the week saw a Monday holiday, lots of DVDs and relaxation, a nice, calm Valentine's Day (because of the time difference)... and then it all went poorly.

Fuck You, Filmrot They're Back?

2008-01-30T16:24:00.001+09:00

I just tried to go to a formerly cool website called Filmrot dot com (don't bother going there... it's GONE) where they, at one time, had done a frame-by-frame comparison between the Sin City graphic novels and the Sin City movie.

Now... it automatically redirects to the Ron Paul campaign website.

Fuck you, too, filmrot. Bleah.

EDIT (4/2/08):
Appears to be back to its former goodness. I dunno what happened there, but I'm not gonna lose sleep over it. All I can say, though, is that the re-route to Ron Paul made me like both him and this site less than before. So... brute force campaigning is maybe something to reconsider.

Olbermann: "You, sir, have no business being President."

2008-01-08T23:02:00.000+09:00